(May 15, 2005. 10 lbs of baby girl)
Life is hanging in a sweet, yet cryptic balance these days.
I feel I am on a cusp.
My children are growing and moving into new, big, beautiful chapters of their lives. Work is going well, and I'm getting all sorts of requests for custom art and to sell original pieces (!).
And yet, I have this distinct feeling that there's more. Something I can't yet see, but can feel.
A big change.
Feels like those mornings, where you rise early and sit in peace with a hot beverage, watching the fog engulf the water and the mountains; whispering its mystery all around you, making you feel curious, but content all at once.
Maybe its partly the feeling of my mama's heart cracking wide open as my baby girl turns eight years old.
Today.
7:04 am.
Eight. Years. Old.
And the thing is, that eight is still little and curious and content. But I know from experience that eight is the gateway to ten...and once we hit the double digits, well, it just rolls past so fast after that.
So today, I'm a little heartbroken.
But also, so in love with my little lady who brings so much joy to life.
I am blessed. And holding her so tightly. Squeezing as many hugs and giggles from her as I can.
(circa 2006. 1.25 years old. )
Dear A,
Today, babe, you are eight. EIGHT! Wow, lady. What an awesome accomplishment.
I want you to know, my sweet, that you were wished for, prayed for, and longed for. You are my girl. My funny, creative, loving, caring, kind girl who worries way too much for a person who has only lived for eight years.
You are loud, girl. Like the LOUDEST. But only when you are in your element, or if you think no one is looking. You want to make a good impression on others, and I admire that, but remember, as long as you are yourself, you are loved. People will always want to be with you.
You are gorgeous. You have beautiful eyes, a sweet little nose and the most amazing cheekbones. Ever since you were a babe in my arms I have stared at you trying to pick out your adult face. Sometimes I see it. Sometimes all I see is a sweet angel. Sometimes I just see your small face and try to log the memory deep within my heart so I will always know what it looks like.
Since you were three, I've read you the story of the angel in Heaven who stared down at earth and longed to join the people here. She found a nice lady and a handsome man and chose them as her parents, then she joined them as their earth angel. We told you that this was your story. This is how you came to us. We picked you and you picked us. We are so blessed that you agreed to come be here with us for this adventure.
You are tough. You are tenacious. You have ideas and you execute them. You challenge me constantly. I love all these things about you, but what I want you to remember is to use this tough energy to be courageous. Use your kind heart to do good things. Go into the world and take charge, but help those who need help and stay strong in your beliefs.
Today, sweetie pie, enjoy the freedom that eight brings. Be proud of all the things you have done, like learn to read, sing in front of big audiences, do hard math, and clean your room. Be open to beauty and love and keep loving life.
I love you.
XO
Mama